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| Milla at roughly 7 months of age. |
The hospital was pretty near to the Washirawut military camp, so it didn't take long until we arrived there. We pulled to the parking lot and exited the car. Our driver stayed by the car and the three of us went in. Noi obviously knew where she was going and we just followed her. The hospital was big, Nakhon is a pretty big town and this is probably the biggest hospital in the area. The waiting rooms were full of people and once again we got long looks. We are sorry, but we have no pictures or videos from inside the hospital, filming inside is striclty prohibited.
Our first stop was at a pharmacy counter just after the entry. Noi spoke with the nurses in there for a while, and we continued to our next stop. Close to another exit there was a counter where Noi asked again. The lady told us that the documents are disposed every five years. That's a bad thing for us, but it figures, the hospital is so big that they couldn't possibly keep all the documents.
From here we went to yet another counter, a bigger one this time. While Noi was talking to the nurses there, an older nurse came to us. She had came to work early so she would have time to show us the ward where Milla was taken 20 years ago. She's the one responsible for the babie's ward. She asked us to follow her upstairs where the ward was located. We followed her through the labyrinth-like hospital and saw all these people lying on sleeping pads on the floor, waiting to get in a ward or just waiting for a family member to get out.
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| The nurse told us that we can sneak a few pictures, where there's no patients. |
While walking to the ward the nurse told us that we can sneak a few pictures on the way, but not of the patients or her, because she was on duty. She promised to send Noi her contact information and a picture of her. We finally got to the babie's ward and walked in. All of the nurses there were young, most of them just over 20 years. Noi told them in Thai that Milla was in this same ward, 20 years ago being treated. For them this was unbelieavable that someone had came back here after 20 long years. Milla tried to shyly smile to the nurses as a gratitude for what they do. These people do a very valuable work, taking care of the most smallest and sickest of the patients.
The ward was full of beds, babie's in tubes and parents by their side. Milla was shocked speechless. She couldn't say a word and tears fell from her cheeks. The parents probably wondered who we were and what we were doing there and why Milla was crying. Noi explained Milla's story to them, and even tho their own babies were sick, the parents managed to smile at Milla. Probably thinking that if she was here 20 years ago, as sick as their own child, and coming back after all these years, anything is possible.
Not many words were spoken at the ward due to all the emotions. We want to think that our visit gave strenght to the parents, even the ones with HIV-babies. If Milla made it, they too will have a fighting chance. The nurse hugged Milla and asked if she was ok. She was, but from all the moments in her life, this was the one she didn't want to say anything.
On the way back to the exit, we thanked the nurse once again that she had given us time and a chance to visit the ward. The nurse didn't remember Milla, but how could she, it has been 20 years and Milla was just one month old when she was rushed to the hospital. It must've been nice and suprising for her too, that we came all the way from Finland to see and thank her in person.
On the way back to the exit, we thanked the nurse once again that she had given us time and a chance to visit the ward. The nurse didn't remember Milla, but how could she, it has been 20 years and Milla was just one month old when she was rushed to the hospital. It must've been nice and suprising for her too, that we came all the way from Finland to see and thank her in person.
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| Milla by the hospital after our visit. |
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| Boys' home in Nakhon Si Thammarat, Milla's third stop in her life. |
After the hospital it was time to continue in baby Milla's footsteps. From the hospital Milla was taken to a children's home nearby. It was only for boys but Milla would be transferred to Viengping, the only children's home in Thailand that takes in HIV-positive babies. It was a short drive to the orphanage, and when we got out of the car there were four people to welcome us. After exchangin a few words Noi turned to Milla and said: "Milla, here's a book that has a picture of you at 7 months of age, and your first name which they gave you in the hospital!"
The book was big and obviously old. It had leather covers and was all hand written. From every child there was a single column with a picture and some other info in Thai. In the hospital they had to give Milla a name to identify her. That name was "Jarii", the name originates from the South and translates roughly to "The one that is well-behaved". It was amazing to find out that Milla had yet another name! We've already found out that in Viengping Children's Home she was named "Chanamon" (The heart that everyone loves and wants to protect) and given a nickname "Bai Tong" (Banana leaf).
One lady from the staff had also been working there 20 years ago, we seem to have the luck on our side. Two of the ladies promised to take us to see the only building that was there 20 years ago. The building was well kept and in a great shape, a two story light green stone house just by the office of the orphanage. The nurses told us that from this orphanage over 40 babies are adopted every year. It might not sound a lot, but considering that the orphanage is housing 600 kids, it's a big prosent.
We entered the house and went upstairs. There must've been almost 30 baby beds side by side. The first thing we noticed was that the babies were big and chubby, so it seemed that they were well taken care of and fed enough. The inside of the house was clean and well kept, but the space is still a bit small for so many babies. They let us hold the babies and Milla started to get a baby fever seeing me holding one of the babies. Milla told me that the babies resemble her of her brother Ville, who is also adopted from Thailand, and she wanted to take few babies with us.
After a while of admiring the babies we went outside. We passed by a dining area, where about a hundred of the boys were circling around. Some of them were eating and others just strolling around. They get most of the food as a donations from the good-hearted people of Nakhon Si Thammarat. Once again we got loooon looong looks, maybe because Milla is so tall for a Thai, and I might just happen to have a "few" tattoos. We also got to see the other two old buildings for older boys, one of them was called "The warm place" in Thai. Along the years more buildings were build and the boys' home was a big complex nowdays. All the houses was painted in bright colors and were all in great shape.
When we came back to the office there was a French couple with two newly adopted sons, loading their stuff in a minivan. The boys were maybe at age 3 and 5. Milla went to them and gave them a short version of her story. They were suprised that we've came all this way from Finland to visit the places of Milla's origins. Even tho Milla didn't know these people she had to tell them the following:
"When you're having a rough time and you feel that you are drained up, when these boys hit puberty and start asking about their past and saying things because they are angry. Remember that this decicion you've made together will always be a bond between you. No matter what they might say out of anger, they will always respect you and be grateful for the best gift and opportunity ever, being a part of a real loving family."
After this Milla hugged them and they both began to cry for happiness.
"The words that just came from my heart were the words I wish someone had told my parents. What ever happens, I wish that these people will remember my words. Behind these words was a silent thanks to my own parents, a "thank you" that I never had the strengt to tell myself. All the things that have happen have been rough for all of us."
When the new family waved a goodbyes to us from the window, Milla felt like she had gotten something big off of her heart.
The book was big and obviously old. It had leather covers and was all hand written. From every child there was a single column with a picture and some other info in Thai. In the hospital they had to give Milla a name to identify her. That name was "Jarii", the name originates from the South and translates roughly to "The one that is well-behaved". It was amazing to find out that Milla had yet another name! We've already found out that in Viengping Children's Home she was named "Chanamon" (The heart that everyone loves and wants to protect) and given a nickname "Bai Tong" (Banana leaf).
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| The orphanage staff and the big book! |
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| "Jarii" The one that is well-behaved |
One lady from the staff had also been working there 20 years ago, we seem to have the luck on our side. Two of the ladies promised to take us to see the only building that was there 20 years ago. The building was well kept and in a great shape, a two story light green stone house just by the office of the orphanage. The nurses told us that from this orphanage over 40 babies are adopted every year. It might not sound a lot, but considering that the orphanage is housing 600 kids, it's a big prosent.
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| On the right the nurse that had worked there over 20 years, and behind them the babies' house. |
We entered the house and went upstairs. There must've been almost 30 baby beds side by side. The first thing we noticed was that the babies were big and chubby, so it seemed that they were well taken care of and fed enough. The inside of the house was clean and well kept, but the space is still a bit small for so many babies. They let us hold the babies and Milla started to get a baby fever seeing me holding one of the babies. Milla told me that the babies resemble her of her brother Ville, who is also adopted from Thailand, and she wanted to take few babies with us.
After a while of admiring the babies we went outside. We passed by a dining area, where about a hundred of the boys were circling around. Some of them were eating and others just strolling around. They get most of the food as a donations from the good-hearted people of Nakhon Si Thammarat. Once again we got loooon looong looks, maybe because Milla is so tall for a Thai, and I might just happen to have a "few" tattoos. We also got to see the other two old buildings for older boys, one of them was called "The warm place" in Thai. Along the years more buildings were build and the boys' home was a big complex nowdays. All the houses was painted in bright colors and were all in great shape.
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| "The warm place" |
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| One of the houses for older boys. |
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| Came a long way from one house orphanage. |
When we came back to the office there was a French couple with two newly adopted sons, loading their stuff in a minivan. The boys were maybe at age 3 and 5. Milla went to them and gave them a short version of her story. They were suprised that we've came all this way from Finland to visit the places of Milla's origins. Even tho Milla didn't know these people she had to tell them the following:
"When you're having a rough time and you feel that you are drained up, when these boys hit puberty and start asking about their past and saying things because they are angry. Remember that this decicion you've made together will always be a bond between you. No matter what they might say out of anger, they will always respect you and be grateful for the best gift and opportunity ever, being a part of a real loving family."
After this Milla hugged them and they both began to cry for happiness.
"The words that just came from my heart were the words I wish someone had told my parents. What ever happens, I wish that these people will remember my words. Behind these words was a silent thanks to my own parents, a "thank you" that I never had the strengt to tell myself. All the things that have happen have been rough for all of us."
-Milla
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| Make-shift work out equipment. |
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The prosentual chance that I would've died or been permanently ill with HIV was very big.
When I got to thank and look in the eyes of the people who had helped me to survive, and who gave us all the new information, it was amazing.
When we left Nakhon I was just staring out of the car window silently. Us visiting Vienping Children's Home in Chiang Mai to meet the nurses who still remembered me, meeting people in Nakhon who still work in the places where I've been in my first year, everybody welcoming us with love... All this has closed a some sort of circle inside me, a circle I've been trying to figure out my whole life.
It didn't matter if I never meet my biological parents or how much new information I found out. The one thing that matters, was when I got to look in the eyes of the people who piece by piece made possible this puzzle of my life. They made it possible that I survived and got to grow up healthy.
It was wonderful to realize that my adoptive parents was the crown to my story, but I found out how little pieces in just the right times had their influense in the end. All this made me smile, my story was no longer without it's prelude.
The why and the how we found out all this was an amazing luck and happy coincidenses. It all started when we went to Nakhon Si Thammarat "for nothing" only to end up in Khanom. I have no words to describe all that has happened."
-Milla
All of the steps below were a mystery to Milla before we came here. The only information she had was that she was named Chanamon and that she was adopted from Chiang Mai.
We owe a big thanks to Suvi Korenius from Helsingin Kunnanvirasto (municipal agency of Helsinki) for handing us the papers from Milla's adoption and contacting Viengping Children's home for us.
We would also like to thank Noi and her family for ever making it possible to dig deep in to Milla's past, we could've never gotten this far if it wasn't for you guys!
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| Step one when Milla was found. |
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| Step two, to the hospital due to the fatal condition. |
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| In the hospital Milla was given her first name "Jarii" |
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| Step three, from the hospital Milla was temporarily transfered to a nearby orphanage for boys |
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| Step four, from the boys' home Milla was transfered to Viengping Children's Home, Chiang Mai. The only children's home in Thailand that takes in HIV positive babies. |
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| There Milla was named Ms. Chanamon. Chanamon is still her middle name. |
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| She was also given a nickname, Bai Tong (banana leaf) |
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| Step five? Miss Nakhon Si Thammarat? |
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